5 Essential Tips for Engaged Couples Preparing for Marriage.

I remember the day I got engaged I was so excited, I had known that the day was coming but at that moment it all just felt unreal. I was beyond myself with joy, he had finally done it . I couldn’t stop staring at my engagement ring, finally my pinterest boards could come to life with the wedding  Ideas that I had pinned. I went out and bought wedding magazines and scrolled through pinterest boards endlessly. It was then that I came across the following quote:

“Plan a successful marriage, not just a beautiful wedding.”

Marriage will impact every area of your life for the good or for the bad. It’s all cute to post beautiful photos on social media of your relationship and your wedding but truth is when it all comes down to it, its just you and your husband behind closed doors. In planning your wedding day make sure you have thought through the impact being married to that person will have on your life. I want to share 5 things that you can do as an engaged couple as you prepare for your days beyond the wedding day.

1.Attend Pre-Marital Counseling

This is very important. Proverbs 11:14 states that, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” The purpose of an engagement period is to prepare for marriage and not just the wedding day.  If there are any questions to ask this is the time to ask them before you walk down the aisle and say “I do.”

It’s either you do the essential premarital preparation or the painful postmarital repair. It is very important to make healthy pre-marital decisions because things do not magically change for the better after you are married. Attending pre-marital counseling will help you think through some questions and issues that may not have crossed your mind before.

If you are honest with yourself and your partner these sessions can either build or break your engagement. E.White say’s,” be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.”

2.Communicate Openly about everything

Many marriages are broken before they even begin because many people are not willing to ask the hard questions and communicate openly about even the smallest issues.

You are about to make the biggest decision of your life, ask anything, even those little things that seem irrelevant. If you are stuck on questions to ask, there are a few books that you can use as a guide. They will give you a lot of questions to think about and help you along the way.

3.Confront the difficult Issues

You are two imperfect people, there are bound to be differences, but there are some things that you know you would not want to compromise on. Make it a point to tackle those differences before you get married not after. A person does not change after the honeymoon, if anything all that they are is revealed more fully.

If there are some red flags that you have spotted, don’t ignore them. Anything you are uncomfortable with has to be spoken about and ironed out before you say “I do.” Be careful not to build your marriage on hope, lest you be disappointed. Marriage is not a gamble, it’s a life long commitment.

The book ‘Letters to young lovers” states, “Let those who are contemplating marriage weigh every sentiment and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve.”

4.Keep Working on yourself

Being an imperfect person means that you have had to deal with hurt, pain and brokenness in your life at some point. The best thing you can do for your partner at this time and even after marriage is to work on your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical health.

Do not neglect you. Take ownership of your brokenness, confront it, let God heal you from it and help you to move past it. Don’t allow your pain and hurt from previous relationships to shape your future marriage. Keep working on yourself holistically and allow God to help you.

5.Pray, Pray, Pray and Pray again

This is possibly the most important point. Psalm 127:1 states that,” Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it..” Letters to young Lovers say’s, “Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance her plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves her course. She will not want to choose for herself, but will feel that God must choose for her.”

E. White also goes on to say, “If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated.” You will never regret time spent in prayer. God is faithful, he will answer and give you wisdom and strength for the step ahead.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it is not a cure-all for your problems, loneliness or unhappiness. Your partner will not make you happy, happiness is an inside Job. Begin with Jesus as the foundation and build it from there. Have fun planning your wedding day but take time to think and plan for your marriage too. Enjoy the planning process, the honeymoon period and by God’s grace your marriage will be a little piece of Heaven on earth.

Do you have any other tips to share for newly engaged couples that you can share below?